For this month I have a guest contributor by the name of John, he contacted me out of the blue from Australia, he told me that he loved my blog and wanted to be a guest contributor. This post is perfect timing because it is just in time with Valentines Day just around the corner, he is sharing with us his 10 Week Guide to reignite passion in your relationship, and here is John’s bio:

John Stand is a 43 year old project manager and astrologer. He is an experienced blogger and has a passion for enriching people’s sex life. Toys4Sex, Australia’s #1 online adult sex toy retailer. We are considered one of Australia’s largest online adult shops. We are focused on providing the best customer service and value for the consumer.

Now, I will hand things over to John…

Every relationship goes through up’s and downs; something that can greatly affect sexual intimacy in the process. We can spend heaps of time searching for sex toys online, porn, books etc searching for one answer, but ultimately each couple always knows what is best for them and their sex life.

The following is a guide of a few ideas that you may wish to explore over a 10 week period; just skip or adapt the parts that may not be quite right for you.

However the key with this guide is to follow the first 4 weeks where you also put a temporary hold on actual intercourse. That way you devote the 4 weeks to sensuality without the pressure of thinking a cuddle always have to lead to actual sex.

The key at all stages, as in life, is to always keep talking with your partner even if at times you feel blocked. You will be amazed at how the power of communication will be a great problem solver for you.

My 10 week Guide to reigniting your relationship:


With all of my suggested exercises I advocate 15 minutes of touching your partner before swapping places for them to practice on you so that you feel what being touched is liked. Remember; the key in these first 4 weeks is to abstain from actual sexual intercourse; these 4 weeks are about Sensuality.

1st Week – Sensual Touch and Cuddling. Try experimenting different ways of using touch on your partner; ie vary the pressure, use fingers, hands, arms, even legs to touch them. Avoid the genitals and areas you know they dislike being touched.

2nd Week – Kissing. Continue the Sensual Touch and Cuddling but find new ways or places to kiss your partner. Once again avoid the genitals. Finish by looking into each other’s eyes as you finish with a long and sensuous kiss on your partner’s mouth.

3rd Week – Taking Sensual Touching to a Higher Level. Once again keep going with your sensual touching and kissing but introduce new ways of caressing each other to create new sensations for you both. This could include things like dragging fabric (like a silk scarf or a favourite piece of underwear or lingerie) or something a bit spicier like Bondage items if it suits you (like sliding a pair of Bondage Wrist and/or Ankle Cuffs across their body without actually putting them on, or a Tickler or Whip Stick where you just drag them across their body). Finish with some gentle Breast and/or Nipple Play so that you show your partner this is a turn on for you and then guide their hand to your Breasts and/or Nipples so that they return the pleasure.

4th Week – Sexual Togetherness. Continue each of the learning’s from the 1st to 3rd Weeks, and now add in a new dimension to finish where you masturbate yourselves in front of each other. Use this as a learning exercise to observe what turns on your partner so that you can add that in to your future lovemaking.


5th Week – Loving Your Bodies; Every Nook and Cranny. Ignore your usual reaction to your nude body and stand alone in front of a full length mirror; look at your self nude, then describe or write down what you like about your body. Examine your genitals with such detail that it’s almost a new experience for you. Ask yourself what positive discoveries you have made. Later in the week repeat the process as you stand nude with your partner. Take them on a tour of your body and show them all of your body parts that may not be immediately visible. Tell them what you like about your body. Watch intently how your partner touches their genitals so that you can use those clues with how you touch each other. Always finish by paying compliments to each other.

6th Week – Arousal Time. This week is all about the Arousal but without getting to orgasm.  Devote the 1st 5 minutes to Sensual Touch before the 1st Partner begins to explore the genitals of the other and then progresses to a mix of genital and then full body touching. Because this is a touch based exercise it is not about a woman’s Vagina becoming lubricated or a man reaching an erection. Whole person love is the point of this week and therefore I suggest you finish with a cuddle and not an orgasm.


7th Week – Match and Mirror Touch. Continue with the usual Sensual Touching and Kissing as a mood enhancer for more sexual togetherness.  Once the Partner being touched is aroused they then need to start touching their own genitals. The Partner doing the touching then needs to place their hands on top of the Partners so that they can trace the style and masturbation technique(s) they are using. To finish for this first part of the exercise the touching Partner then needs to take over and masturbate their partner. Afterwards, swap places and repeat the process for the other Partner.

8th Week – Time for Oral Sex. Play becomes an important part of this week. Start with a shower or bath for 2 where you thoroughly wash each other’s genitals. The 1st Partner should start by using their touch to explore their Partner’s genitals before progressing on to use their Mouth, Lips and Tongue (or try a hand held fake vagina) to pleasure them. This can continue on (or introduce a Vibrator) so that they can bring their Partner to an orgasm. Afterwards, swap places and repeat the process for the other Partner.


9th Week – 1st Partner’s Choice Week. This is where you both need to use “Rock Scissors Paper” or “Flip a Coin” to decide who will be the 1st Partner; as this week will be focused on them. During this week you can explore every lovemaking style from the previous 8 weeks and those from your past including sexual intercourse. Whoever is the 1st Partner this week can also come up with something original or completely new as well as those that may not have been done for some time. During the Week the 2nd Partner will consider all the options presented by the 1st Partner; with a view to incorporating all or parts thereof into their lovemaking. The purpose of this week is to explore and to agree to try something, without committing to that activity as a permanent option. Open, honest and full discussion regarding likes and things you would like to continue using needs to be incorporated here.

10th Week – 2nd Partner’s Choice Week. This week the Partner’s swap places and it is all about the 2nd Partner repeating the choice process and for the 1st Partner to be the one considering what is being tried. Once again, open, honest and full discussion regarding likes and things you would like to continue using needs to be incorporated here.

So that wraps up the 10 Week Guide and thank you so much for reading, I hope you will enjoy utilizing all of the fun that is to be found in here. Now back to Elle…

Thanks again John for being a guest contributor and I loved your 10 Week Guide and I am sure all of my readers are going to love it too!

Until next time!


Elle aka Lady L

Posted by Lady L

Elle Le Blanc/Lady L – The Alchemist of Sensuality: Writer, author, speaker and sex positive event host.